My Boyfriend Takes Boudoir Photos of Other Women and I’m Uncomfortable

My beautiful boyfriend of just one calendar year, who showers me with like, will take boudoir pictures on the side as a photographer. I wouldn’t imagine it that considerably of a dilemma (I’ve been looking at your other posts on why guys glimpse at women), but what will get me below is that he has a pantyhose fetish. (Normally, he looks obsessed with them). I simply cannot aid but think this is just a minor overstepping into inappropriate-land. I do belief him. Also even though, I just cannot assist but imagine him finding pretty turned on by these photoshoots. I do not want to be managing. He’s been nothing but a great boyfriend.

But, is his indulgence in these varieties of photoshoots healthier for us? Do I have everything to stress about if he has proven almost nothing but devotion to me?

Thank you, sincerely,


Many thanks for your e mail, Claire. You referenced this post, Why Adult men Glance at Other Ladies,” and I assumed it would be suitable supplementary studying.

What is tough about your issue is that it is pretty distinct and doesn’t implement to any two men and women in addition to you and your boyfriend. That’s why it’s tough to extrapolate and notify you, with any quantity of certainty, no matter whether you have nearly anything to stress about.

But I will inform you a not-so-solution secret about how I give suggestions.

When a reader (or a consumer) asks me about a problem she has with her boyfriend, I put myself in her boyfriend’s shoes and check with myself how I would truly feel if I were being him.

It’s not that her thoughts are irrelevant – much from it! It is that she currently knows how she feels. What she generally lacks is the creativeness to think about how a person else may watch the exact actual condition. Each individual time I do this work out – since I’m pretending to be me – I give the gentleman the advantage of the question as an genuine, moral particular person – until I’ve been supplied factors to doubt his character.

Your circumstance is distinctive, but it is no unique.

It is comprehensive rely on or no have faith in.

If your boyfriend is a reliable dude, then you have to act under the assumption that, even with the erotic mother nature of his facet-hustle, he’s becoming trustworthy to you.

If he’s not trusted (or you really don’t think him to be honest), then he need to no for a longer time be your boyfriend.

If he’s not honest (or you really do not consider him to be trustworthy), then he should really no for a longer period be your boyfriend.

Wherever you attract the line IS the line.

Is the stocking fetish odd? For a vanilla dude like me, yeah. In the pantheon of all fetishes, it appears like a fairly tame a single that can be included into your really like lifestyle rather quickly.

Is he getting turned on by the photoshoots? I hope so. He’s a human staying with a sexual intercourse push selected a hobby that he presumably finds pleasurable. But there’s a Big variation involving currently being turned on by a stranger and acting on it.

I find quite a few strangers eye-catching. I have never acted on it simply because I worth my wife and my phrase significantly much more than I worth a fling that would wipe out my everyday living. Most guys in relationships, I would suspect, experience similarly.

The essential for women of all ages, I consider, is to not play assumed police. It is not a crime for a gentleman to be turned on by other women of all ages, captivated to other girls, or once in a while fantasizing (or masturbating) about other females. If that’s what you hope from adult men, you are most likely to be sorely dissatisfied.

But if you can see the sizable gap in between thought and action, I believe that you can have a healthier connection with a pretty, devoted boudoir photographer.


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